Yeah, maybe. Or maybe it’s just exactly what I need. A huge celebration to let the world and my subconscious know that I’m beautiful, I’m powerful, and gosh darn it, I’m worthy! So I’m gonna get the dress and a ring (I’ve already bought a selection of [granted very cheap, but I’m very frugal, and I’m okay with that] engagement rings) and I’m gonna stand up in front of a preacher-type person and a crowd of my loved ones and vow to God that I am gonna love, honor and cherish myself for the rest of my life. Then we’re gonna party.
So here’s a thing, lemmie tell ya about it. I’m really gonna do this, mind you.
I’m getting married.
Every girl dreams of having a big wedding, right? Fancy dress, big cake, surrounded by family and friends, big reception, the whole shebang. Right? Except then what? Then you’re stuck with some guy forever. Oh, and I haven’t met him yet. I’m getting tired of waiting.
But I am not letting that stop me! No.
I am gonna go for it. I am gonna do it on my own. I am getting married, all by myself, with nobody else. I am gonna marry myself.
Yeah, you heard me.
A bit egocentric, isn’t it, Josie? I hear you ask.
I think that’s worth making a fuss over. I think I’M worth making a fuss over. So I’m gonna. I don’t need to wait to find a husband to make that fuss. I can commit to loving myself. To honoring myself. To cherishing myself. And yes, everyone can do that in a quiet, personal way every day. But I want to make a fuss.
There’s a part in some ceremonies where the celebrant asks the witnesses to participate in the marriage, to help the couple live up to their wedding vows. I’m definitely putting that bit in. If my friends see me failing in my vows, I would want them to help remind me of my promise to be a good caretaker of myself. Because I’m so good at forgetting.
Nothing in my vows is going to preclude me finding true love from a man or a woman (hey, I’m not picky) and someday marrying them. It could happen. Maybe I’ll meet my spouse at my wedding, who knows? They’ll be a friend’s plus-one or something. Don’t laugh. It could happen.
I have not yet chosen a date. I have not yet chosen a venue (though I have several options, including outdoors ANYwhere and at least one church that’s willing to host such a ‘unique’ cememony). But some things have already been decided. Like my grandma Rita’s earrings that I’ll definitely be wearing. I wouldn’t consider walking down the aisle without them, in fact. Some other stuff I know I’m definitely gonna do.
I plan on designing the ceremony from top to bottom. I’ll be drawing on traditions from lots of different influences for inspiration. I am a Baha’i’, after all. So while some things will be straightforward stuff you’re used to in a traditional American/Eurocentric/Christian ceremony, other things will not be. You just never know with Josie, and I like to keep it that way.
I’m making this announcement to everyone (although yes, some of you already knew) across every platform I have an account on out there on the internet: facebook, blog, author page, twitter, etc. today, but who knows when the ceremony will be? Not me… not yet…
But hey, I’ll keep y’alls updated. Coz I’d probably love to see you there!